I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
