If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
