You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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