OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We left the knife in your bed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
