just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't think brook has ever known best
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
