I look better un-naked...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
