why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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