he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
