I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So here I am, sexting at work.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
