You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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