she smelled like a LAN party
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
