He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
