it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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