hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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