No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
