Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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