i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
