if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
