She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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