I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
