he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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