Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i think i just lost a toe
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
