Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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