is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
