i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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