U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
