oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
