forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
