she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
