Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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