TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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