I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
