she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
