if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
