Im at strip club and am horny
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
