it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
