im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
