Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize