It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
