Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
