yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
