i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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