Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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