would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize