Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
