Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
