why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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