one two three fourrrrnication!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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