You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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