literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
