so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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