you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
