the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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