so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
