In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
