We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
