dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
