Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just found puke in my bra..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
