Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
