Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can I color on your dick again?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
