have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
