Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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