Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
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