East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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