Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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