my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
