worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I see more hoeing in ur future
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