its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize