I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize