And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize