Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
