I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
