My entire life is one complicated drinking game
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
