Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize