I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize