Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
